Monday, January 24, 2011

Holiday letter - 2004

Holiday Christmas Wishes 3 -- 2004
From the desk of
Henry J. Rifle

Dearest chums,

Well, well, well. So another year has passed us by. And as the corpse of the year 2004 begins to decompose and stiffen with rigor mortis, I think all we can do is cut off its clothes, lay it out on the table, examine the skid marks and try to figure out where things went so horribly wrong. Or perhaps it’s best simply to dump the whole mess in the cosmic hamper of time and pray that someone somewhere can somehow make it clean.

But…enough looking back. I come not to bury Caesar. He died a very long time ago, and if he’s not buried by now, man, he has GOT to be some kind of funky! Still, he did invent the wheel and the toga party and was one half of the pioneering comedy team Caesar and Brutus, and for that he should be recalled and recalled fondly.

Which reminds me; the most overused word in the English language today has to be ‘pioneer.’ I’ve got a news flash for you: I don’t care what you did, unless you own a covered wagon, you’re not a f------ pioneer! Let’s be real clear about that. And why would you want to be? The pioneers, for the most part, were insane -- bloodthirsty pilgrims driven mad by the prospect of gold and cheap liquor. But this isn’t Thanksgiving we’re talking about. It’s the Holiday season; eggnog, tinsel, jelly beans and fa la la la.

With that in mind, all I can say is I truly wish us well, all of us. Life…life is a terrifying thing. So for just a few days, at least, can’t we try to enjoy it together? Can’t we let our guards down and be open even slightly to the prospect of a brighter tomorrow? For all of our sakes, I hope so. Remember, the world isn’t driven by courage nearly so much as it’s held back by fear. And keep in mind, the heart doesn’t come with a kickstand. In these next few weeks and throughout the coming year I encourage all of us to release the parking brake on our souls. I say, let’s get these nasty pigs out on the open road and see what they can do! ARIBA,ARIBA!!  

All the best to you and yours,   


Henry J. Rifle

No comments:

Post a Comment